Categories: Humor Quotes

Top 25 Most Famous Humor Quotes 2019

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen

“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
― Douglas Adams

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“Saying ‘I notice you’re a nerd’ is like saying, ‘Hey, I notice that you’d rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you’d rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?’ In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even ‘lame’ is kind of lame. Saying ‘You’re lame’ is like saying ‘You walk with a limp.’ Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he’s done all right for himself.”
― John Green

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
― Groucho Marx

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

“I love mankind … it’s people I can’t stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

Share
Published by
Parvez Khan

Recent Posts

Top Most Popular Quotes Of Valentines Day 2020

Top Most Popular Quotes Of Valentines Day 2020

Happy Valentine’s Quotes {2020} “If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.” —Maya…

11 months ago
Top 100 Deep Love Quotes For Her/Him To Express How You Really Feel (2019)

Top 100 Deep Love Quotes For Her/Him To Express How You Really Feel (2019)

Get at expressing the way you're feeling with those profound adore estimates. Some times it really is hard that you…

11 months ago
Top 10 Most Famous Quote With Image in 2019

Top 10 Most Famous Quote With Image in 2019

Top 10 Most Famous Quote With Image in 2019 Below:  

11 months ago
Quotes Of The Day: July 12th in 2019

Quotes Of The Day: July 12th in 2019

Top 40 Motivational Quotes to Start Your Day in 2019 Below: 1: "Your time is limited, so don't waste it…

11 months ago
Top 100 Most Popular Books Quotes in 2019

Top 100 Most Popular Books Quotes in 2019

“So many books, so little time.” ― Frank Zappa “A room without books is like a body without a soul.”…

11 months ago
Top 100 Most Popular Education Quotes in 2019

Top 100 Most Popular Education Quotes in 2019

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” ― Mahatma Gandhi “I…

11 months ago